Want the Bad Change or the Good Change
Pink Apple is about helping couples move away from the ho-hum in their relationships and refind the "zing".
I help couples find positive ways to flip/change any stagnant patches in their ongoing lives to gether.
So I was struck by Rosa Say’s words over at Talking Story recently.
There’s two kinds of change
There’s bad change, and there’s good change.
When change happens TO us, and gets imposed on us, causing us to be reactive,
we think of it as bad change. It shakes up our sense of security, and makes
things unpredictable. We scramble to do the best as we can, but it’s pretty
stressful.On the other hand, good change is change we intentionally and deliberately
CHOOSE; we use it for the catalyst it has the potential to be, so we can get
more than we’ve gotten before. We “Change it up!” on purpose. The phrase we
usually use for this good change? Strategic Objectives.Bad change is involuntary. Good change is initiated.
With bad change people react as victims. With good change, they take actions
they choose as leaders.Change is going to happen one way or another. So choose it.
Design it. Plan it. Execute it.
Ho‘o — make things happen.
Ho‘ohana — make things work, and make ‘em work your way.
Relationships always change over the years, that’s a given!
So if your relationship is ho-hum, it might not seem like a big deal and just part of life’s little ups and downs. But have you ever thought that "Ho-hum" implies involuntary and bad change. Presumably you didn’t sign on for a ho-hum relationship.
What tends to happen in response to the ho-hum is that we slowly start to react with resentment, insecurity and eventually hostility.
Rosa is calling you to stop bad change in your life by "buying in" and flipping out of victimhood and stress. You can choose to accept the inevitability of change and then the opportunity to take your own positive actions.
Pink Apple is challenging you to do the same in your relationship.
As the holidays draw to a close, how has your relationship been while you’ve been thrown together on your vacation? Was there romance or sparkling company to be enjoyed each day, or was there something missing? Is it all a bit ho-hum?
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