Knowing I needed to write about the theme, my mind was instantly drawn to the fact that I haven’t yet sat down with SweetP this year and done our annual review of our relationship.

It’s a bit of an evaluation and an opportunity to talk about joys and sorrows, excitements and pain.

It’s certainly one of the ways we take our relationship seriously, and also how we can take a proactive stance at maintaining a healthy relationship, and making it a better relationship as well.

I t would be even more important if ours was a Second Marriage, like some of my clients and readers are currently experiencing.

So what will we be talking about?

There’s a whole pile of questions I created over at The Calm Space, but I’ll let you in, dear reader, on what SweetP and I will be talking about.

There’s no question our first big overseas adventure will be up there on the list.  We learned a lot more about being together, as we were forced by anonymity (and at times language) to rely on each other through that journey.  So, there’s much to talk about there.

SweetP is the money-worrier in our family, so I’m sure there’ll be fuel for discussion there too.

Retirement is nearer, so both our financial management and our conflicts around financial management, will be part of the discussion.

With retirement comes the issue of spending more time with each other.  SweetP is currently transitioning to retirement by now working part-time.  So how we manage spending 24 hours a day in each others’ company will be on the list as well.

And of course there’s more things, grandchildren, our adult children, our ailing parents etc etc.

So I think that our annual review will be part of this coming weekend.

Perhaps we’ll go out and have some yummy brekky, then go somewhere beautiful, perhaps beside a river, and talk together.

What did/will you do for your annual review?

Oh?  Not been there before?  Well why not head over to The Calm Space and have a read of my article so you can plan a review too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chris Owen of Pink Apple

I’m a Melbourne-based Relationship Advisor for couples who fear that their second marriage could fall apart just like their first did.

I help them by reskilling them, in effective relationship behaviours, so they can be confident they won’t go back to old patterns!

Why not follow me on Facebook where I share my own and all sorts of other resources?

Warm regards

Chris Owen

But you’ll find out more about all that over the next few weeks.  (Yes I’m keeping you in suspenders!  )

The very first thing is something very PRACTICAL!

With the changes to technology (and competition between telcos!) I have cancelled my fax line and I now use an online fax service for the rare occasions when someone wants to send a fax.  So if you want to send me a fax, contact me for the number.

And now we have also merged our phone lines.

NO LONGER will Pink Apple be available on 03 9877 1469.

Of course, you can still contact me via skype, mobile, or on our NEW PHONE NUMBER 03 9878 2028.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chris Owen of http://www.pinkapple.com.au

I’m a Melbourne-based Relationship Advisor for couples who fear that their second marriage could fall apart just like their first did.

So I help them by reskilling them in effective relationship behaviours so they can be confident they won’t go back to old patterns!

Why not follow me on Facebook where I share my own and all sorts of other resources?

In the meantime, I’ve been nose down, bum up working on a bit of a revamp of the old Pink Apple.

Being a girl who follows the rules, I went back to square one and was thinking about who it was that would most benefit from Pink Apple resources and services.

Ping went the light bulb!

It’s Gen Xers.  Mainly Gen X women, but by no means exclusively!

So I decided that this old boomer needed to get to know even more about this group, so I can give MAXIMUM benefit.  Hence why I’ve been lunching, coffeeing, and chatting on the phone!  I’m busy talking with my Gen X pals.

Only trouble is I end up chatting for hours, because it’s all so interesting.  So for the sake of all our sanity, I decided to put together a few questions and ask you all to answer them for me!

So could you do me a BIG Favour and take 5 mins out of your day to answer a 10 question survey?

It can be totally anonymous if you wish.  However if you’d like to receive a Thank You Gift of my Tips Sheet “Love Letters That Lead To …” on how to write a love letter, then you’ll need to put in an email address.  (Feel free to use that gmail/yahoo/whatever one that you keep for anonymity if you’d like!)

This isn’t about List-Building  it’s about understanding what’s important to you and your friends.

AND PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE  share this FAR AND WIDE to all your Gen X friends as well.  The more the merrier!

Clicking this link takes you to my survey https://pinkapple.wufoo.com/forms/what-gen-x-think-/

When couples come to me they are often in a state of total turmoil.  They have lost their way, they have lost their connection and they have lost themselves.  What they want from me is a solution to the situation.  They want a magic key to unlock the glorious future that they had planned when they first became a couple.

I help them to find the magic key that fits best and I show them how to use it.  That is why I am a relationship coach rather than counsellor.

So you want to know what the difference is.

Let me explain it this way.  If you were a footballer who was having trouble kicking that goal, what would help you most – someone who works with you to find a better way of kicking or someone who helps you examine your feelings about the situation?  I thought so.  You want to kick those goals, don’t you?  You need someone to coach you so that you can make the best kick possible.

While there is definitely a place for both roles, and quite often there is an overlap between them.  I believe that the solution-focused approach of coaching is the best way to avert a march to the divorce court.

Counselling often involves looking backwards and examining the events that got you to this point.  You may learn a lot about why you feel the way you do.  It can help to resolve a lot of the sensitive emotions dangling between you and your partner, but it may not show you how to move forward.  Coaching is just like solving a problem.  It is all about identifying solutions and helping couples develop new skills to help them move forward.

How Do We Do It?

Pink Apple uses several different tools for coaching.

One of those comes from the professional development techniques of the  workplace.  Pink Apple helps you bring those to the privacy of your home and relationship with surprising success.

The Relating Better Program walks you through a unique problem solving process.  It helps you identify your own and your partner’s problem solving styles and how they align – and more to the point how they CLASH.

With new insights you can both learn how to understand each other better.  Understanding means you avoid the mounting tensions and conflicts that arise from frustration with your different styles.  Relating Better demonstrates how to use new strategies to get off the merry-go-round of problem solving leading to conflict!

I can’t tell you how much old Pink Apple here LOVES seeing couples take control of their futures.

My happiest moments as a coach are when I see couples walk off with hope in their eyes, a newly blossoming trust in each other and a clear road to take.

If you or your partner needs to learn some new skills within your relationship then come and see me.  It would be my absolute pleasure to be your coach.

What's more, all of the funds raised from the many prizes, auctions and donation envelopes will go to support the Red Cross Victorian Bushfire Appeal 2009,

You
see we're all Melbourne women, feeling powerless to change the
devastation that last weekend's fire storms had on people living in
Victoria. 

Many of those killed and left homeless are from the
very outskirts of our city.  Most people know someone who has lost
loved ones, friends, or property in these areas.

So rather than just feel powerless, we decided to take action and RAISE MONEY amongst our favourite people – other Women.

We're inviting ALL women (businesswomen and stay-at-home mums) to join us for The Phoenix Lunch.

About The Phoenix Lunch

NEXT THURSDAY 19th February 2009
from 12-2.30pm

AT Box Hill Golf Club,
202 Station St
Box Hill Victoria

Cost $35 to cover cost of 2-course meal and wine and tea/coffee (paid in advance)

RSVP TUESDAY 9am 17th February  (YES BOOK RIGHT NOW)

All enquiries can be sent to ThePhoenixLunch@gmail.com

Bookings

There are two registration options and three payment options.  You need to book AND pay.
To pay (ESSENTIAL so we have numbers for our venue)

1. Direct Debit $35 to
   BSB 013 – 247, Account No 4870 58027
   Whitespaces Management and Marketing Services P/L
   PLEASE mark payment as Phoenix and ADD YOUR NAME.
   (The $35 for meal etc. Fundraising is with donations, raffles, auction etc)
2. Credit Card
   (Complete your details on the attached Registration form and fax to 03 9877 2138 or scan and attach to email at ThePhoenixLunch@gmail.com)
3. Credit Card Phone Transaction
   Ring Janet Powell on 0411 091 419 to complete your transaction by phone.

To Register (ESSENTIAL so we can match you and your payment) 

1. Complete the Online Registration (I'm no geek, so it's not very pretty but it's functional)
2. Complete the PDF Registration Form and fax it back to 03 9877 2138  
   Download The Phoenix Lunch PDF

What's In It For You?

Well apart from lifting some of that
sense of powerlessness and warming the cockles of the heart because
you've made a difference …

There is:

• Some Networking Development led by networking expert Brenda Thomson of Networking World. 
  We'll all learn how to use our BEST WOMANLY SKILL – networking.  That's
  to our advantage as both businesswomen with products and services out
  there in the marketplace, and as consumers seeking great products and
  services.
• Finding out about the amazing array of women's services from the inserts in your take-away goodies bag.
• Lots of Fun, Laughter, and the very important ESWB (Exchanging of
  Secret Women's Business, of course!!!)  It should be good for meeting
  new people, finding new ways to make our lives easier AND a bit of HOT
  gossip as well!

How Will That Help Bushfire Victims?

A Senior CFA
Representative will give us some insights on what lies ahead for our
state and where our donations will need to be funnelled.

We'll
get you opening your purses/wallets for Donation Envelopes (receipts
will follow), Auctions, Raffles, Door Prizes, Spot Prizes.  All these
prizes are being generously donated!  (Can you Help?)

IF
you feel the need to bring goods for the victims (Red Cross tell us
money is best) then please limit the donations to new-only, female,
health/personal products and cosmetics and bring them along on the
day.  There’ll be a box for those donations.

So Are You Coming?

We
want to fill our venue with 150 talking women.  Can you help us?  Can
you MAKE TIME to join us at this important charity event?

Even if
you live interstate, you could still join us.  Why not consider
it?  The Cause is worth flying for and worth every flying dollar!

A Community in Ashes

For overseas readers of this blog, you'll know Victoria (Melbourne is where I live) has been beset by devastating bush fires in this last week. 

While
the death toll is officially 181 the real toll will definitely be much
higher!  1800 houses have been lost and 7000 have no home.

As I
looked at the blood red sun going down last night and rising again this
morning, I join other Victorians in fearing that the returning heat of
this coming week might mean we have more bushfires to deal with. 

The fire front is still massive but better contained.

Like you, Pink Apple and my colleagues Angela Esnouf of Creating Order from Chaos, and Janet Powell of Mentor Maestro have been horrified by the impact of the bushfires.

Like all of you, we felt powerless.

Like all good small business people, we decided to take action.

How?

Well what else but get women together to talk to each other?  We've called it The Phoenix Lunch.  A Women's Networking Lunch in Support of the Red Cross Victorian Bushfire Appeal 2009.  

Our target is 150 bums on seats.  (That's how many the venue will hold.)

Can YOU help?

• Can you come along to enjoy a great lunch, donate some money, meet some marvellous women, win some stunning prizes, and help reach the 150 target? 
• How many of your contacts can you share this invitation with?
• When you think about all the people you know, can you ask any of your contacts for any of the things on our wish list?(see below)
• Can you or your business offer any goods or services to the prize pool? 
• Do you or your contacts know any entertainment or sporting celebrities (especially women) who could help raise the profile of The Phoenix Lunch?  (We desperately NEED a professional media person to MC the event!)
• Are you interested in promoting your business
  with marketing materials or offers to be included in the guest’s
  goodies bag?   If you can’t attend, but you'd like to market to these
  women, then you’ll need to donate $50 to the Bushfire Appeal. 
  (Attendees and donors of prizes with a value of more than $50 can
  provide promotional material for free.)
• all enquiries or offers can be sent to ThePhoenixLunch@gmail.com

Our Wish List

• A Weekend Getaway
• Wines
• Jewellery
• Women's Clothing
• Mobile Phones
• Electrical goods
• Leathergoods
• Books and CDs
• Office goods and equipment
• Business coaching and Marketing Consulting
• Dining Vouchers
• Pamper packs (including massages, day spa passes, facials, manicures and pedicures)
• Personal Services (personal training, personal concierge services etc, household cleaning, )
• ANYTHING that might be appealing to women or women in business!

For Details

…of The Phoenix Lunch and to book check out the details here.

I was aiming the article at couples about to marry, or take on a more permanent relationship.

But then I realised many people struggle to get clarity about their personal values.

Pink Apple is planning a short group phone seminar to help you clarify your values.  If you’d like to guarantee your spot in this small group, shoot me an email to be placed on the pre-registration list.  (There’s no obligation if the date or time turns out to clash with another appointment.)

To celebrate all this
action (as we’ve just shared in the newsletter above) I want to share
some of my good fortune and success.  So I am creating one extra spot in
the scholarship program for one
individual at $55/per session or one couple at $65/session.
This is a 50%
reduction in my fees.  (Minimum 4 session and maximum 8
sessions and all by phone.)

So if you or someone
you know needs some help making new choices and taking the necessary actions
to make those changes, then let me know.

Or maybe, you want to be placed on the waiting list for the next scholarship
space.

Here in Australia, a long time ago (in a land, far, far away – oops sorry went all fairytale there for a moment!) there was an ad for a non-alcoholic mixer drink called Claytons.

The drink was pretty bloody awful as I remember, but the advertising campaign saw to it that Claytons (the drink you have when you’re not having a drink) entered and REMAINED in the language.  At least for most of us BabyBoomers!

Well let’s get off non-alcoholic drinks and on to a networking event I went to last night. And no! I had NO wine!

Clever Chics Night

Clever Chics, has a BAG (Big Audacious Goal).  Clever Chics aspires to be the biggest women’s networking group in the world!  I like a group who thinks small.    That’s why I joined!

Currently they’re growing into the Melbourne Networking market and last night’s event was a Makeover Expo.

Catching up with old friends and meeting some new ones was mild in comparison with the highlight of my night – a makeup makeover!

The Big Reveal

But before we got to the lovely Jane Iredale makeup, Christine, from Cutters Club in Newport, applied an amazing Bags-Under-Your-Eyes-All-Gone kinda product. 

This stuff is called Eyesential and I was stunned.  I’d seen it being reported on one of the more tabloid-type current affairs programs and had been very dubious. 

Shut Up about the Vanity, Guys!

Now for you blokes who poo-poo the kind of shallow, female, vanity that would have people worrying about bags under their eyes, I’d like to tell you I saw a couple of blokes sit down to have this stuff applied to their bags, and smiling as they looked in the mirror.  So Raspberries to you!!!!!

The Sceptic Worm turns!

As a consumer, I’m often persuadable.  However one area where I’m pretty resistant and strongly sceptical is the cosmetics front.  As anyone who’s seen me in my track-pants (sweats) would have noted, I’m not all that bothered about what I look like.   My morning makeup routine is very limited, and usually I’m lucky to get some lipstick on.  So my cosmetics budget is pretty low! 

But , once I’d seen just how much the shelves under my eyelids disappeared, I was SOLD!  This time a little box of precious stuff came home with me!

Now for the drum roll,

Just before I left, the biggest makeover of all came my way, I won a door prize.  (Yes another prize, I have done well this year.)   

This was a voucher for BOTOX treatment.

(Ok, friends you can stop laughing NOW!!!)

The irony is amazing.  Me and Botox were not exactly a mix I’d EVER have considered!

Will I use it?  We’ll see …

We thought a Quick Report might be interesting for those of you who wondered if it might be useful, but weren’t sure enough to book.

Let’s Set The Scene
We started by grabbing a cuppa.  From there, with our feet tucked up under us, we imagined we were curled up in a comfy chair having a chat with friends.

What we Talked About:
We worked our way through the kinds of things that we ALLOW to drain us of our energy.  We DO need to remember it IS a choice, even if it’s not one we actually think we are are planning to make!

It was uncomfortable but important that we also explored the kinds of thoughts and feelings we have when the energy drains away and we’re left with some kind of physical, mental or emotional pain.

Having visited just how unpleasant that drained feeling can be, it certainly set us up to want to change things!

The How-Tos:
So some "How Tips" were pretty important.

With Pink Apple’s belief that no new action to change something for the better should go unrewarded, we also talked about the kinds of rewards that were on our agenda for new steps taken!

Armed with such a clear picture of where-to-next, our call was complete.

"Thanks Chris, for putting the Zing! back in my step.  After taking part in the Zing-by-Phone Energy Boosters for your Success I found renewed energy and focus.  You also gave me the tools to stay that way."                   Angela from Creating Order From Chaos

Special Offers:
During the call, special offers were made to participants.

Those on the call were offered a free "Life Scan" list of the most likely places and areas of our life where energy can drain away.  There were also exclusive notes from the session for our callers.

Additionally, participants were given a limited time offer to purchase the recording of the call.

Finally and unusually, Pink Apple offered callers unlimited email coaching for $30 per week to help participants get their Energy Drainers identified, and managed, so that Energy Boosting becomes a way of life!

So for those of you who missed the call, you missed some fun, some useful information, and especially some good offers.  As I said, NO new action taken to make change for the better should go unrewarded! 
That’s how Pink Apple’s Zing-By-Phone will always be.  Special rewards for those on the call!

Finally …
So to those of you who joined the call, thanks for being there.  If you missed it, then watch out for the announcements of our next Zing-By-Phone!

Keep up your Energy Boosting Efforts and if you missed this keep an eye on the Take A Bite blog because we’re about to offer another way to Boost Your Energy!

And for those of you who missed the opportunity here’s a couple of questions?

What is one single thing you would do if you had more energy?

Where would your life be better if you took that ONE action?