Posts Tagged ‘Real Mums’
Struggles With Mothering Adds Pressure to Relationships
I've always struggled with my role as a mother.
Even with sons in their 30s and a grandchild, I still struggle to believe I measured up as a mother! I know that impacted on how I parented and how I related with my husband.
One of the most common triggers for conflict in a relationship will be persistent differences in parenting styles. Those differences can leave one or other parent feeling like they are a "bad" mother or a "bad" father!
We all need to support couples as they parent. It's a bloody hard job. Sometimes It can seem like a thankless task. And how a couple parents their children impacts on us all as those children become adults in our communities!
In general, when you feel good about yourself and love yourself, it helps you bring positive vibes to your relationship.
So I was really interested to hear from Amanda Cox (aka Mad Cow over at Real Mums) who's been doing some research. Here's what she shared with me. It's very TELLING reading!
We recently conducted a survey on Mums and found (although we already knew!) that most Mums experience feelings of isolation, inadequacy and lack of support, and would really like a little bit of time out for themselves.
(Interestingly, all these issues are also the main contributing factors for postnatal depression)
Mums have expressed concerns that they feel like they’re doing a bad job at mothering, that they can’t do things “right”, that sometimes they yell or swear at their kids. And sometimes they don’t even like their kids!
They tell us they do things like finding finger painting, playing with trains/Barbie and listening to their kids really boring, they use the TV as a babysitter, and have messy houses. And they feel bad about it.
They tell us they want a break, to know that they’re not the only ones doing these sorts of things, and to feel “normal”. They tell us they need some non-judgemental, emotional support, tactics for dealing with kids that work in the REAL world, friendships and to feel less stressed and less guilty.
They tell us they want wine and chocolate.
They said lots of other things too.
And we listened!
We know that Mumming is hard, because we’re Mums, too. We also know that there’s far too much information out there, all focussed on how to deal with the kids, but nothing for us, and most of it is really hard to replicate in the real world without massive amounts of support. We know it’s hard to get out, catch up with friends, and connect in safe, supportive environments.
We know and understand what is missing … or is it?
Not anymore!
Bad Mother’s Club is launching on November 6th in Ascot Vale, Melbourne.
The Club will address ALL of these issues and more – lots more.
So in light of all that telling information, I'm going to be joining Amanda and other Mums at the dinner to launch Bad Mothers Club.
Here's the details and here's the flyer!
Please join me in getting the word out to help mohers and our community at large?
It's a 3-course meal, wine, tea and coffee, giveaways, guest speakers and the chance to be the first to find out about the Bad Mother’s Club. And there WILL be wine and chocolate!
So give yourself permission to be fantastic just the way you are, kick back, connect with other Mum’s, have a few drinks and just have fun. BECAUSE YOU CAN!!!
You will also have the opportunity to become a member of this very unique, yet supportive, inclusive and empowering Club.
Tickets are $87 per person – or you can grab yours for $67 (all inclusive) by booking your tickets NOW at http://badmothersclub.eventbee.com and entering code madcow-bmcl. These tickets are extremely limited, so be quick.
Bad Mother’s Club Launch - 7.30pm Friday November 6th at Prevale, 236 Union Road Ascot Vale
Bookings Are Essential … Book now http://badmothersclub.eventbee.com (or phone 0414 548 103)
Pass it on!
Thriving not just Surviving
the spring would not be so pleasant;
if we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome.”
I've spent my morning reading Paul McCarthy's The Survival Trap: Why some Businesses Thrive and Others Struggle to Survive in Tough Economic Times.
No matter what your perspective and how much knowledge you have, doing some motivational or professional reading/development will always give you at least ONE insight that you hear differently and makes you take action.
That's happened this morning.
How come?
Well I was just doing what I thought was an obligation. Doing some preliminary reading before I went to a meeting.
I was (and am) looking forward to hearing Paul McCarthy speak at the Manningham Business Network's monthly Open Meeting, the first for 2009. As a member of MBN, I have heard some interesting speakers and was a strong advocate of getting Paul to speak.
McCarthy is a terrific speaker – inspiring but on a really practical level! (I need to hear some "hows" along with my inspiration, or it won't get me far. And Paul delivers that in spades!)
In fact his is one of the few monthly newsletter emails that have survived my recent RUTHLESS culling of newsletter subscriptions that FLOOD my Inbox! (Come on you know what I mean. Have you checked how many you're subscribed to?)
So because the meeting's coming up and I am a committed and interested member, I wanted to do Paul the courtesy of being ready. At last this morning, I've got around to reading this new e-book The Survival Trap.
And of course, I've had my aha moment.
Bizarrely enough it came when McCarthy started talking about failure.
Now, unlike my eager little readers here, I confess I have the occasional moment of self-doubt!
I had one recently and I was throwing that word "failure" about a bit in conversation with my ever-helpful and endlessly-challenging coach Karen Wallace. She jumped on it from a great height and gave my backside a bit of a kick. A kick that I felt again when I read those words this morning.
I realized I just hadn't been failing fast enough to get me moving.
Those words got me so motivated that I stopped reading and came here to write and share with you the opportunity to read the book and get your aha moment faster!
McCarthy is offering this book for fr*ee. It's about 80-ish pages in big font and VERY easy reading. You even get a chance to win some coaching from him. So there's no loss in this. It's taken me about 45 minutes to read – but yes I am a fast reader! Even so, you'll hardly be taxed by reading it, and WILL get an aha moment no matter how extensive your experience of business or personal development is!
And if you need another quote to get you thinking, here it is:
– Talal Abu-Ghazaleh
See you at the Open Meeting on Tuesday?
If not, till next time …
Chris
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Chris Owen is Pink Apple. At Pink Apple, Chris shares the Secrets of Successful Relationships. She's a co-author of Save Our Christmas Sanity: The Christmas Calm Manual; and a regular contributor to The Calm Space, Joyful Jubilant Learning, and You! the member's magazine for Real Mums.
