Posts Tagged ‘relationship advice’

Simple Relationship Advice for Social Media Lovers

Today in the Melbourne Herald-Sun, it was reported that a small study conducted by Relationships Australia suggests that Facebook and other social media is impacting relationships.  Relationships Australia says:

Lovers on the rocks are now airing issues in counselling sessions that have arisen from social media, chat rooms and dating websites…

Yes social media is fun and a quick and savvy way to keep up with each other, but I’m sorry I don’t think you can link social media to CAUSES of relationship breakdown!  It’s more like a way of seeing a symptom of problems!

True, you might find FUEL for your conflicts on social media, but if it wasn’t there, it would be on your partner’s mobile, or at the pub,  or anywhere that the usual relationship conflict issues arise.

If trust (jealousy)  is an issue in your relationship, then it will be; whether you’re on Facebook or not!

If you’re feeling rejected by your partner, then if it wasn’t your partner’s time on Twitter that was leaving you dejected, it would be something else.

Be brave and talk about it, preferably staying grown up and without fighting!

But if you do, then Fight Fair! (More on that later!)

And if you can’t do either of those then get some help!

I have a FEW empty appointments at the moment so give me a call if you need to.

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Chris Owen of Pink Apple helps people create Better Relationships

Chris Owen is an Aussie-based Relationship Advisor who muses on relationships, and helps couples make their relationships joy-filled – before it’s too late!

She shares resources, offers support, and debunks myths on Facebook and Twitter as well as here at the Better Relationships Blog.

Posted at 13:00 in Musings on Relationships in the Media, Relationship Tips, Triggers for Relationship Pain, Uncategorized | Permalink | Comment (1) | Trackback (17)

The Little-Known Secrets of A Successful Marriage

Despite what many may say about social media, I have made some wonderful friendships on my rounds of Twitter and Facebook.

One of the early ones was Iggy Pintado, author of  Connection Generation, and all-round nice guy!  Iggy is a man of deep authenticity and integrity, and one I admire immensely.

Today is Iggy and his wife Kerry’s 25th Wedding Anniversary.

To mark the occasion they answered a question many people have asked them.  They wrote a joint blog post about what they thought was the key to their successful marriage.

It’s simple and has 3 key points, I encourage you to go read it and absorb some of their wisdom.

It’s much more real than anything I could say!

Posted at 18:08 in Secrets of Staying Together | Permalink | Comment (1) | Trackback (17)

Why Relationship Coaching and Not Counselling for Better Relationships?

Relationships are the most important thing in the world to me.  That is why I love what I do.  I get to help people find the best way to nurture the special relationships in their lives.

When couples come to me they are often in a state of total turmoil.  They have lost their way, they have lost their connection and they have lost themselves.  What they want from me is a solution to the situation.  They want a magic key to unlock the glorious future that they had planned when they first became a couple.

I help them to find the magic key that fits best and I show them how to use it.  That is why I am a relationship coach rather than counsellor.

So you want to know what the difference is.

Let me explain it this way.  If you were a footballer who was having trouble kicking that goal, what would help you most – someone who works with you to find a better way of kicking or someone who helps you examine your feelings about the situation?  I thought so.  You want to kick those goals, don’t you?  You need someone to coach you so that you can make the best kick possible.

While there is definitely a place for both roles, and quite often there is an overlap between them.  I believe that the solution-focused approach of coaching is the best way to avert a march to the divorce court.

Counselling often involves looking backwards and examining the events that got you to this point.  You may learn a lot about why you feel the way you do.  It can help to resolve a lot of the sensitive emotions dangling between you and your partner, but it may not show you how to move forward.  Coaching is just like solving a problem.  It is all about identifying solutions and helping couples develop new skills to help them move forward.

How Do We Do It?

Pink Apple uses several different tools for coaching.

One of those comes from the professional development techniques of the  workplace.  Pink Apple helps you bring those to the privacy of your home and relationship with surprising success.

The Relating Better Program walks you through a unique problem solving process.  It helps you identify your own and your partner’s problem solving styles and how they align – and more to the point how they CLASH.

With new insights you can both learn how to understand each other better.  Understanding means you avoid the mounting tensions and conflicts that arise from frustration with your different styles.  Relating Better demonstrates how to use new strategies to get off the merry-go-round of problem solving leading to conflict!

I can’t tell you how much old Pink Apple here LOVES seeing couples take control of their futures.

My happiest moments as a coach are when I see couples walk off with hope in their eyes, a newly blossoming trust in each other and a clear road to take.

If you or your partner needs to learn some new skills within your relationship then come and see me.  It would be my absolute pleasure to be your coach.

Posted at 18:33 in About Pink Apple | Permalink | Comment (1) | Trackback (17)

Finding the Right Relationship Coach for You

I have the best job in the world.  I help to turn ‘blah’ relationships back into ‘wow’ ones.  What more could I want out of life?

Today I want to talk to you about how to choose the right relationship coach for you and how to know when you need one.

I think people often think that couples who see a relationship coach must be knocking at the door of the divorce court.  You know, it isn’t always that way.  Often the couples who seek coaching are looking for a better way to relate.  They want to improve what they already have.  Isn’t that beautiful?

Sometimes, though, the couples who come to me are those who have reached a plateau in their relationship.  The zing has gone and routine has set it.  That isn’t a bad thing.  In fact, it is a stage that most relationships go through.  You can decide to keep living that way or you can learn how to add spice back to the relationship.

Of course, I do have couples coming to me as a last ditch attempt to resolve issues in their marriage before they head for divorce.  I am always impressed with these couples and their commitment to each other.  Isn’t it wonderful that despite feeling angry or frustrated with each other, they still love their partner enough to work at staying together?

If you are feeling flat in the relationship then you could need a coach.  No, you don’t have to feel unhappy with the relationship.  Remember, coaching is all about finding a better way to do things.

What To Look For

How you choose a relationship coach is a personal decision.  You really need to connect with your coach and feel trust and confidence in her.  I recommend that you talk to some different coaches before making your choice.   Here are some things that I think are important to look for in your coach:

1.  Connection. Did your coach understand what you were saying?  Did you feel some rapport with her?

2.  Listening.  Did your coach pay attention to both partners?  Did they seem to ask the right questions?  Did they talk too much?

3.  Positivity.  The coach needs to be cheerful and positive.  If she is not, how can you feel sure that she can see the way ahead?

4.  Qualified.  Make sure that the coach has proper qualifications and experience.  Never go to an amateur!

5.  Available.  By this I mean that your coach offers coaching in ways or at times which suit you.  The programs that she offers are suitable for you and you can cope with them.

Relationship coaching is all about understanding what you want and need in your relationships.  It is about really connecting with you as individuals and building a trusting relationship between us.

I know, when I’m exploring solutions to a problem, I have to “feel” confident that person is right for me. You will know when you find the right person.  You will feel comfortable and willing to talk to her.  You will know that the coach is hearing you and see that they are skilled in what they do.

If you think your relationship could do with a bit more zing then consider finding a relationship coach who talks your language.  Together you can add some spark back to your world …

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If you’d rather, we can meet up on Facebook. All you need to do is become a Fan of Pink Apple on FaceBook.

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Chris Owen is Pink Apple and a bubbly Aussie Relationship Expert.

If you want a better relationship, but don’t know how to get it, then why not follow the beating heart in sidebar of this blog and take the Relationship Mojo Test?  You’ll receive Chris’ free E-Book  Your Relationship: From Mojo to Marvellous to help you improve your relationship.   Oh and there are other bonuses to be found on the other side of that beating heart!

Posted at 18:39 in Relationship Tips, Uncategorized | Permalink | Comments (0) | Trackback (17)

When Walking Away is the Best Relationship Advice …

If you were happy all the time in your relationship, then most of you probably wouldn’t be bothering to read Pink Apple’s relationship advice.

So let’s assume that like all humans, not every moment of your relationship is a blissful event.  (If it is I want to talk to you and get you secrets!)

What’s more, in your loving relationship, there’s probably the occasional little quarrel, the odd fight, a quick snipe or two, the rare screaming match, a few disagreements and sometimes war breaks out!

Have you ever come across someone who told you they don’t fight?

Did they share this interesting information with a slightly righteous posture?  Did they seem just a little smug?

Of course they may be telling the truth, they may both be extremely conflict averse!  The thought of conflict may terrify them out of their wits.  So much so that they would no more “go there” than they’d step on a landmine!  However that scenario has it’s own drawbacks which is a topic for some other day.

Just be reassured that most people in relationships fight – in some form – at some time!

And that’s perfectly OK!

There is nothing wrong with having a fight.

The only way it will harm your relationship is if you don’t heal the relationship after the conflict.

But sometimes fights get out of control don’t they?  (And no, I’m not necessarily talking about “fisticuffs” or domestic violence.  And probably not even emontional abuse!)

Sometimes you say things you don’t really mean!  And they’re out of your mouth before you’ve really put your brain into full gear!

After you’ve cooled down you may even forget you’ve said it.  But maybe those few words, are burned into your partner/mum/dad/friend/sister/s brain.  Seared there forever with the scar an endless irritant.

And all for what?  Was the fight worth creating that scar?  Did the topic really matter that much?  Was the poin THAT significant?

You see that’s why…

… the best relationship advice is to walk away.

And no I don’t mean stomp out of the room in a huff!  (One of Pink Apple’s occasional failings I’m afraid!  Usually accompanied by an oh-so-satisfying slamming of the door!)

I mean zip your lip for the millisecond that it takes to register that:

  • you’re not actually in good control of your emotions
  • you haven’t got the whole issue in perspective
  • this is about a myriad of other small unconnected irritants
  • this may not actually matter in 24 hours, next week or next year.

And then take a deeeeeeeeeeeeep breath

Say something  like, “I know I need to gather myself together.  Can we come back to this when I’ve collected my thoughts and calmed down?  I really want to have this discussion, just not in this way!

… and walk away and do just that!

Go take a walk around the block.  Go sit in the toilet and deep breathe for five minutes.  Go and channel the energy into something fruitful.  Just go …

… and come back later, just as you promised, and complete the discussion.  (And I don’t mean days/months/years later)

Try it and let me know how you get on?

In fact, if you have tried it either successfully or abysmally failing, share your thoughts and comments below! Read the rest of this entry »

Posted at 08:55 in Relationship Tips, Talking Skills, Triggers for Relationship Pain | Permalink | Comments (0) | Trackback (17)

Writing Your Way to a Better Relationship

A while ago we moved Mum into a nursing home. That meant cleaning out her house. Predictably for an elderly lady, there were lots of crap things.   We knew that in amongst the crap, were bound to be things of sentimental value, antique value, and just plain precious to Mum for no reason we could think of!  We had to try and honour all those things and be practical too!

But, as we all know, one woman’s precious CAN be another woman’s crap, so it was a wee bit stressful and draining!

However, I made one very precious find almost by accident.

Tucked into an old, small, wooden cigar box, that must have belonged to my Dad many years ago, I found three letters in my father’s bold, beautifully-crafted, and unmistakeable handwriting.

Yeah! You guessed it. I opened them.

In my defence, I had some conscience.   It took me quite a while to pluck up the courage to go plundering my parent’s relationship.

But how glad I was!  As I sat there with tears pouring down my face (I’m even crying now as I recall it) I felt so blessed to have this little glimpse into their early and precious relationship.

Are you shocked …

… at me invading my parent’s privacy like that?

I’m sorry if I’ve gone plummeting in your estimation!  But now that Mum’s memory has gone, it’s us, her daughters, for whom these letters have become precious. So I have no doubt in my mind any more.  I did the right thing.  The contents of that wooden box are now even more precious!

But opening that box was such a grief-flooding moment.  I could feel the physical hurt in my chest, as I caught sight of Dad’s handwriting again, after so many years.

At the sight of  those letters lying in their simple wooden cradle, I just reacted. I HAD to touch those letters, those connections with the Dad I’d lost to death, and the Mum I was losing to a disease gobbling away at her brain cells, days by day.

I ran my fingertip over the writing on the envelope.

I’d never had the chance to have an adult relationship with my Dad, he died before we had a chance to get over the polar opposite positions of my adolescence and his old age.  So despite the intervening years, the yearning in me is still powerful.  I endlessly seek to know my father as a man, the way most people get to discover their parents once they become adults and parents themselves.

In that old cigar box, were three beautifully-scribed love letters, written by my Dad to my Mum in the mid-1940s around the time of their engagement.

It suddenly felt like I was in the middle of a war-time movie.   My mum and dad seemed to leap out of the photo albums and come to life, 40′s fashions and all!

I saw two people I knew so well in a totally new and different light – madly in love. I’d never seen signs of romance, open affection, or anything else overt between them.  This was a window into A Fine Romance, a war-time romance between a quiet shy man and his friend’s secretary.

In his letters, Dad talked of how much he missed being with her, how it felt to leave her, and how wonderful it felt to see her again.

They were simple messages.  Simple words.  But powerful emotion.

The joy and excitement of his love was there in the respectful words, the gentle, tender wooing, and the encouragement he gave her. Without even a hint of eroticism, his ardour and desire for her jumped off the page.

It left me thinking about my own relationship, and grateful that some day our children will find our love letters too.

What legacy of your love are you leaving?

What do you think your children will discover after they’ve buried you?

(What’s that?  Am I being a bit too confronting?  Sorry, but we NEVER know when death will separate us from our loved ones.  Hence why we need to love well – right now!)

The quick emails, and text messages that we tend to exchange now, won’t even exist. They’ll be gone into the technical ether.

Let’s get down to tin tacks here.  Have you ever written a love letter?

Have you ever received one? Do you remember what it felt like to receive it? When I receive a love letter, the rawness and vulnerability of the message of love will bring tears of gratitude and intense emotion.

Have you kept these precious love letters?

There’s a strong argument for not losing this old and cherished skill. That is, apart from the sheer joy of receiving love letters, of course.

How much poorer would the world be if Byron hadn’t written of his love? If Charlotte Bronte or Napoleon had used texts? If Elizabeth Barrett Browning or CS Lewis had whipped off a quick email?

Have I got you thinking?

So, what do you want your partner to know about your feelings?

How often do you convey that?

So what’s stopping you from saying those things in a love letter?

Are you scared of writing a love letter? Do you think letters are only for when someone is far away? Do you believe you’re not capable of flowery/romantic language, or even of writing a letter any more? Do you think your Significant Other will think you’re an idiot?

Go on, the challenge is out! I dare you to try it. Who needs wireless broadband when you’ve got a pen?

If I’m talking to the converted, why not add some extra impetus to my argument by sharing your story in the comments below. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted at 03:16 in Relationship Tips, romance | Permalink | Comment (1) | Trackback (17)

Have the Kisses Changed in Your Relationship?

I’ve got a few impertinent questions for you!  After all, I am a Relationship Queen and part of my job is to throw out challenges!  So …

What’s the best kissing memory of your whole life?

Do you believe that long languorous kisses only belong to new lovers?  Or in movies and TV Shows?

Do your long languorous kisses only belong in the bedroom, once you’re married/partnered? Or at least in the privacy of your own home?

Be honest!  Do long languorous kisses still have a regular place in your relationship? Do you at least do them in front of your kids?

What does a long languorous kiss mean to you?

I know it might seem like old Pink Apple has not had enough lip action, not played enough tonsil tiggy, and has generally resorted to getting her pleasures vicariously.  But it’s not true.  I’m perfectly happy with the kissing action in my life.  But my question is, are you?

Kissing is such a funny thing.

Do you remember your first ever romantic kiss?

Girls (and I guess boys) talk about it endlessly when we were teenagers.  I’m guessing that much adolescent (or pre-adolescent -sigh!) effort is put into becoming skilled at it.  How do you do it?  What about noses?  Who moves their head?  How do you breathe?  What about tongues?  It’s all so exciting, and just a bit scary.

We give it all kinds of names.  Snogging, pashing, necking, petting, smooching, sucking face.  Every era has a different name for it!

And then when we become partnered, kissing can become a perfunctory part of every day life.  There’s hellos and goodbyes, and sometimes not even that.  There’s birthday and Christmas kisses.  There’s kisses in the bedroom that are meant to send not-so-subtle messages.

But what happened to kissing for its own sake?

So recently I put one of my Relationship Tips up on the Pink Apple Facebook Fan Page and suggested a long languorous kiss just before you head out the door.

You see, it doesn’t take a lot to make you both stop and remember that this is your “Relationship” as much as it is your daily life.  Try surprising your partner with a long kiss just as you’re about to go out, and what happens?

Now if we assume you don’t suddenly decide to be late for the party and turn around and head for the bedroom…

What happens is that your surprised partner suddenly remembers who you are and why they love you.  The rest of your evening is spent with both of you just slightly distracted and with a secret smile hovering on their lips.  There’s hopes that perhaps the kissing may return when you get home.  You share a tiny little secret between you and the sense of connection between you is heightened.

They all sound like pretty good things for any relationship.

But, of course, you don’t necessarily need to be going out to break the monotony of daily life together, by injecting this spicy kiss into your twosome. It just needs to come at a time when your partner is least expecting it.  It needs to be a sexy kiss at a time when sex is not really an option.  Of course the point is to build some sexual tension/energy.

It could be the morning kiss as you depart for work that gets the long languorous touch!  Or maybe the one in the kitchen while you’re preparing dinner that evening (together of course!) That’s a good one because while your kids may protest at the “obscenity” of their parents being “yucky” or disgusting, the message you send about you as two people who love each other, is REALLY IMPORTANT!  It’s good modelling of positive relating.  And that’s one of your jobs as parents!

Or maybe, you want to be a bit more public and choose the escalator at the local shopping centre, or a lift!

Anyway you get the message …

And maybe you’ve even got some suggestions …

Feel free to leave a comment!

So my challenge to you is to give it a try and see what response you get!  Go slap a kiss on that partner of yours that will take his/her breath away.

Don’t forget to come back and tell us how it went! Read the rest of this entry »

Posted at 20:39 in Parenting & Relationships, Relationship Tips, romance, Secrets of Staying Together | Permalink | Comments (2) | Trackback (17)

Mr Right or Mr Good – Choosing the Right Relationship Partner

When you’re a Relationship Expert, you get some unusual calls!

The lovely Renee Mayne of  Bra Queen, spied this article in a recent newspaper and, using Facebook, dialled up THIS Relationship Expert for my opinions and advice.  Since then, I notice the bandwagon is rolling along nicely as journalists and bloggers hitch a ride.  So why not me too?

I must say some authors are very good at using audacious claims for getting press and web coverage!  If nothing else you’ve got to give Lori Gottlieb a tick for free-publicity and maybe it’s even given her some income!  Because you see, the author of Marry Him: The Case For Settling For Mr Good Enough has fanned feminist flames with a nice little dose of audacity!

What am I talking about?

Well, according to The Age and SMH,  this 40-something author claims women should be accepting Mr Good-Enough over the endless search for Mr Right!

Gottlieb’s theory is that if you’ve hit 30, and still haven’t found Mr Right, then you should take her hard-earned wisdom and settle for Mr Good-Enough.  Once you hit her age, and still haven’t found your man, you’ll be rueing the day in your 30s that you knocked back Mr Uninspiring and Ordinary, and kept dreaming of the idyllic Mr Right!

Becky Hugh, another London journo, passionately responded the next day with We Must Never Stop Searching For Mr Right.  Both she and Gottlieb used fictional characters to develop their arguments quoting Jane Eyre, Mary Tyler Moore, Rachel from Friends, and the ubiquitous  Carrie Bradshaw as demonstrating informed decisions.  Come on ladies!  Enough with the emotive stuff!!!!

Here at Pink Apple, I have no need to sell newspapers with outrageous claims or emotive arguments.

But I’m not ashamed to admit that I welcome a chance to air my thoughts so that you, my readers, can tell if I’m someone you’d look to for Relationship Advice.

Really it’s not about whether I agree with Ms Gottlieb, because I think she’s lassoed the issue and dragged it off over a paddock that’s far from the warmth of the farm.

So let’s see what’s at the farm…

What are the important things about choosing a life partner?

Should there be a checklist of ideal qualities?

Should there be a deal-breaker?  Should that be love?

Pink Apple’s Tips on Choosing The Right Partner

1.  Develop communication skills as a journey not a destination.

You’ll never be perfect at communication skills, any more than you will be perfect at anything else.  Like kicking a footy, knitting a complex pattern, or singing a folk song or an aria, it’s always a mix of a bit of talent and endless bloody hard work.  Seek education and feedback, and monitor your skills with endless attention and development.

2.  Learn how to negotiate effectively and become more comfortable with compromise.

Practise these skills in your workplace, amongst friends, and in your family.  Remember that compromise is NOT lying down and being a door mat, or getting your own way!   Learn to recognise your signs of assertiveness and aggression and cultivate win/win moments wherever you can.

3.  Befriend your values and live them

Reflect on what things you could not bear to be parted from in your life.  These are the clues to your values.  Become familiar with them to the point of knowing where they lie in your priorities.  If there’s any checklist to be had, it’s a checklist for you to ensure you’re living by your values.

4.  Know your problem solving styles

We each go about solving problems with our own unique mix of preferences and aversions.  Knowing which parts of the process are your style and what you’ll actively avoid will help your awareness and develop your capacity for negotiation and compromise.

5.  Feel your feelings

Within all non-work relationships, problem solving cannot happen without each having an awareness of facts, as well as the opinions and feelings of the other.  If you don’t know what you’re feeling or can’t put a name to it, then problem solving is compromised.

6.  Cultivate respect and goodwill

One of the key indicators of lasting relationships is not if/how we fight but instead our capacity to heal the relationship after conflicts.  That’s when respect and goodwill become critical ingredients to our ability to create and nurture healing.

7. Learn how to fight.

Picking your battles is the first step in fighting fairly.  Running your negative reactions through the will-this-matter-in-12-months-time meter, is another important element.  Finally if you need to fight then learn to manage your emotions and be ready to go back after the fight and seek to solve the problem

8.   Recognise what you are tolerating in your life and allowing to sap your energy.

Tolerations are the things we put up with even though they conflict with our core values.  Because tolerations commonly fly beneath our conscious radar, they will drain us of emotional energy.  Regularly review your tolerations and declutter them from your physical, environmental, mental and emotional lives.

9.  Be the Right Partner

Show up to every person you meet as the authentic you.  Love yourself, appreciate yourself, take responsibility for meeting your own needs as a matter of daily habit.  You show up as a real and attractive person and not a needy one.

You’ll notice it’s all about being the best you, you can be.

So whether Mr Right has a cute bum, cooks well, loves kids, or is dedicated to work/life balance won’t really matter.

Being the best you you can be will ensure that self-awareness directs your decisions.

(If you struggle with building these skills in being the best you, then seek some professional help.  And keep your eyes open for upcoming Pink Apple Teleseminars!)

Finally, yes love is an essential part of the selection mix. And if I had a couple in front of me, for whom love was not a primary driver , then yes I’d see it as a deal-breaker!

But there was one thing I did agree with in Amy Willis’ article in The Age.  She sought advice from Prof Cary Cooper, a psychologist at Lancaster University:

… women unable to find their dream man should not see themselves as settling for second best.

He said: “No man or woman has all the characteristics you would look for; it would be a miracle to find your number one.

“You have to find somebody with as many good characteristics as possible. The main problem is that many people haven’t worked out what those characteristics are. People need to sit down and work out what they want and then go looking for someone who at least ticks some of your top priorities.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted at 20:02 in Secrets of Starting Out Together | Permalink | Comments (0) | Trackback (17)

Depression – The Black Dog Might Be Living in Your Relationship

It’s Australia Day and we’re all supposed to be celebrating.

But if someone you love is not feeling like celebrating, perhaps there’s a good reason.

Depression.

I could write a whole article about that, but why would I? I’ve just seen a terrifically effective simple article about depression over on my friend Renee Mayne of Bra Queen’s site!  It may explain a lot.

And if depression is wobbling your relationship off it’s stable footing, Pink Apple (as a skilled counsellor) can help you establish a new footing that accommodates the Black Dog in your family.

Using Pink Apple’s Relating Better Program, all three of us could have a 2-hour (one-off and no obligation) First Steps Session to establish how things are, and what might need to be different. It will help you:

  • take stock of what the situation is
  • get clear what you want to do about it.
  • decide if you want some coaching assistance

Relating Better also has a Solutions for Now Program which may be one of the options you could choose.

Solutions For Now is a series of four coaching sessions and uses an assessment tool to establish your preferred behaviour styles.  It’s intended to help you regain the lost connection between you.  It will help you:

  • get over a problem that’s been holding back your relationship/could lead to the breakdown of your relationship
  • use new tools to address an old problem
  • get objective feedback on how your preferred behavior styles might be impacting your relationships

Depression in your family creates hurdles for everyone including the sufferer.  Depression and that bloody Black Dog have visited our family just as it visits many!  So Pink Apple has an intimate knowledge of what happens when it starts running around in a relationship.  We’d love to help you move forward.

In the meantime, go over and read Renee’s simple and to-the-point Depression Checklist. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted at 20:50 in Triggers for Relationship Pain | Permalink | Comments (0) | Trackback (17)

How Compliments Build Relationship Energy – Let’s Create A Benefits List

It’s a simple thing to compliment someone.

But surprisingly many of us struggle with giving or receiving compliments or both.

If you want the person you love to know you love them, then compliments need to be part of your daily relationship toolkit!

Let’s assume you know how to give a compliment.   (If you need some help send me an email, a FB message, or a DM on Twitter and I’ll send you a tipsheet.)

Let’s also assume you know how to receive one. (Yes that’s right, just say Thank you, is all!)

So what’s in for you to give compliments out (AT LEAST ONCE A DAY to your lover, kids, and friends and colleagues)?

Benefits of a Good Compliment Each Day.

  1. More smiles in your day, improving everyone’s wellbeing.
  2. The people around you feel respected and affirmed by you.
  3. People around you whose Love Language is Words of Affirmation get a laser-like message of your affection and love.
  4. Reignited romance in your love life, and who knows what benefits that might create!
  5. Heightened co-operation in your family and household. The kids might even help with some chores!
  6. With improved emotional wellbeing, comes improved physical well-being and reduced risks of physical illness and dependence on alcohol, cigarettes and overeating.
  7. Leaving a legacy to the world of well-rounded, assertive, and compassionate children, and others, influenced by you.

Now that’s just a few benefits off the top of my head.  If you’ve got more suggestions, then send em to me and I’ll add em to the list.  Surely between us all we could come up with at least 50 BENEFITS TO COMPLIMENTS or even more!!!!

The challenge is on!  (Leave a Reply below and add a benefit!) Read the rest of this entry »

Posted at 20:31 in Relationship Tips, Uncategorized | Permalink | Comments (0) | Trackback (17)