Posts Tagged ‘relationships’
Have the Kisses Changed in Your Relationship?
I’ve got a few impertinent questions for you! After all, I am a Relationship Queen and part of my job is to throw out challenges! So …
What’s the best kissing memory of your whole life?
Do you believe that long languorous kisses only belong to new lovers? Or in movies and TV Shows?
Do your long languorous kisses only belong in the bedroom, once you’re married/partnered? Or at least in the privacy of your own home?
Be honest! Do long languorous kisses still have a regular place in your relationship? Do you at least do them in front of your kids?
What does a long languorous kiss mean to you?
I know it might seem like old Pink Apple has not had enough lip action, not played enough tonsil tiggy, and has generally resorted to getting her pleasures vicariously. But it’s not true. I’m perfectly happy with the kissing action in my life. But my question is, are you?
Kissing is such a funny thing.
Do you remember your first ever romantic kiss?
Girls (and I guess boys) talk about it endlessly when we were teenagers. I’m guessing that much adolescent (or pre-adolescent -sigh!) effort is put into becoming skilled at it. How do you do it? What about noses? Who moves their head? How do you breathe? What about tongues? It’s all so exciting, and just a bit scary.
We give it all kinds of names. Snogging, pashing, necking, petting, smooching, sucking face. Every era has a different name for it!
And then when we become partnered, kissing can become a perfunctory part of every day life. There’s hellos and goodbyes, and sometimes not even that. There’s birthday and Christmas kisses. There’s kisses in the bedroom that are meant to send not-so-subtle messages.
But what happened to kissing for its own sake?
So recently I put one of my Relationship Tips up on the Pink Apple Facebook Fan Page and suggested a long languorous kiss just before you head out the door.
You see, it doesn’t take a lot to make you both stop and remember that this is your “Relationship” as much as it is your daily life. Try surprising your partner with a long kiss just as you’re about to go out, and what happens?
Now if we assume you don’t suddenly decide to be late for the party and turn around and head for the bedroom…
What happens is that your surprised partner suddenly remembers who you are and why they love you. The rest of your evening is spent with both of you just slightly distracted and with a secret smile hovering on their lips. There’s hopes that perhaps the kissing may return when you get home. You share a tiny little secret between you and the sense of connection between you is heightened.
They all sound like pretty good things for any relationship.
But, of course, you don’t necessarily need to be going out to break the monotony of daily life together, by injecting this spicy kiss into your twosome. It just needs to come at a time when your partner is least expecting it. It needs to be a sexy kiss at a time when sex is not really an option. Of course the point is to build some sexual tension/energy.
It could be the morning kiss as you depart for work that gets the long languorous touch! Or maybe the one in the kitchen while you’re preparing dinner that evening (together of course!) That’s a good one because while your kids may protest at the “obscenity” of their parents being “yucky” or disgusting, the message you send about you as two people who love each other, is REALLY IMPORTANT! It’s good modelling of positive relating. And that’s one of your jobs as parents!
Or maybe, you want to be a bit more public and choose the escalator at the local shopping centre, or a lift!
Anyway you get the message …
And maybe you’ve even got some suggestions …
Feel free to leave a comment!
So my challenge to you is to give it a try and see what response you get! Go slap a kiss on that partner of yours that will take his/her breath away.
Don’t forget to come back and tell us how it went!
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If you’d rather, we can meet up on Facebook. All you need to do is become a Fan of Pink Apple on FaceBook. I add a Relationship Tip there every day.
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Chris Owen is Pink Apple and a bubbly Aussie Relationship Expert. If you’re a Mum who wants a better relationship, but doesn’t know how to get it, then why not get started by taking the Relationship Mojo Test and get Chris’ free Audio Interview about Refinding Your Relationship Mojo.
Struggles With Mothering Adds Pressure to Relationships
I've always struggled with my role as a mother.
Even with sons in their 30s and a grandchild, I still struggle to believe I measured up as a mother! I know that impacted on how I parented and how I related with my husband.
One of the most common triggers for conflict in a relationship will be persistent differences in parenting styles. Those differences can leave one or other parent feeling like they are a "bad" mother or a "bad" father!
We all need to support couples as they parent. It's a bloody hard job. Sometimes It can seem like a thankless task. And how a couple parents their children impacts on us all as those children become adults in our communities!
In general, when you feel good about yourself and love yourself, it helps you bring positive vibes to your relationship.
So I was really interested to hear from Amanda Cox (aka Mad Cow over at Real Mums) who's been doing some research. Here's what she shared with me. It's very TELLING reading!
We recently conducted a survey on Mums and found (although we already knew!) that most Mums experience feelings of isolation, inadequacy and lack of support, and would really like a little bit of time out for themselves.
(Interestingly, all these issues are also the main contributing factors for postnatal depression)
Mums have expressed concerns that they feel like they’re doing a bad job at mothering, that they can’t do things “right”, that sometimes they yell or swear at their kids. And sometimes they don’t even like their kids!
They tell us they do things like finding finger painting, playing with trains/Barbie and listening to their kids really boring, they use the TV as a babysitter, and have messy houses. And they feel bad about it.
They tell us they want a break, to know that they’re not the only ones doing these sorts of things, and to feel “normal”. They tell us they need some non-judgemental, emotional support, tactics for dealing with kids that work in the REAL world, friendships and to feel less stressed and less guilty.
They tell us they want wine and chocolate.
They said lots of other things too.
And we listened!
We know that Mumming is hard, because we’re Mums, too. We also know that there’s far too much information out there, all focussed on how to deal with the kids, but nothing for us, and most of it is really hard to replicate in the real world without massive amounts of support. We know it’s hard to get out, catch up with friends, and connect in safe, supportive environments.
We know and understand what is missing … or is it?
Not anymore!
Bad Mother’s Club is launching on November 6th in Ascot Vale, Melbourne.
The Club will address ALL of these issues and more – lots more.
So in light of all that telling information, I'm going to be joining Amanda and other Mums at the dinner to launch Bad Mothers Club.
Here's the details and here's the flyer!
Please join me in getting the word out to help mohers and our community at large?
It's a 3-course meal, wine, tea and coffee, giveaways, guest speakers and the chance to be the first to find out about the Bad Mother’s Club. And there WILL be wine and chocolate!
So give yourself permission to be fantastic just the way you are, kick back, connect with other Mum’s, have a few drinks and just have fun. BECAUSE YOU CAN!!!
You will also have the opportunity to become a member of this very unique, yet supportive, inclusive and empowering Club.
Tickets are $87 per person – or you can grab yours for $67 (all inclusive) by booking your tickets NOW at http://badmothersclub.eventbee.com and entering code madcow-bmcl. These tickets are extremely limited, so be quick.
Bad Mother’s Club Launch - 7.30pm Friday November 6th at Prevale, 236 Union Road Ascot Vale
Bookings Are Essential … Book now http://badmothersclub.eventbee.com (or phone 0414 548 103)
Pass it on!
Tips from Canberra
For those of us who have watched the Black Saturday disaster from the sidelines wishing we could feel less hopeless and do something USEFUL, please find attached a great article printed in the Canberra Times on February 11th.
Liz Tilley, a survivor of Canberra's terrible fires in 2003, has written a piece including advice for us all, survivors and observers alike. Full of intensely practical tips, on what little items survivors need and hwo to rebuild the relationships as much as the houses and their contents. It's worth the few minutes it will take you to read.
Download Tips from a bushfire survivor
is a Word version of the article.
The direct Canberra Times link is a little harder to read but just work around the links and ads that are inserted early in the story.
Don't forget you can also connect with me by following me on Twitter. @Chris_pinkapple
Thriving not just Surviving
the spring would not be so pleasant;
if we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome.”
I've spent my morning reading Paul McCarthy's The Survival Trap: Why some Businesses Thrive and Others Struggle to Survive in Tough Economic Times.
No matter what your perspective and how much knowledge you have, doing some motivational or professional reading/development will always give you at least ONE insight that you hear differently and makes you take action.
That's happened this morning.
How come?
Well I was just doing what I thought was an obligation. Doing some preliminary reading before I went to a meeting.
I was (and am) looking forward to hearing Paul McCarthy speak at the Manningham Business Network's monthly Open Meeting, the first for 2009. As a member of MBN, I have heard some interesting speakers and was a strong advocate of getting Paul to speak.
McCarthy is a terrific speaker – inspiring but on a really practical level! (I need to hear some "hows" along with my inspiration, or it won't get me far. And Paul delivers that in spades!)
In fact his is one of the few monthly newsletter emails that have survived my recent RUTHLESS culling of newsletter subscriptions that FLOOD my Inbox! (Come on you know what I mean. Have you checked how many you're subscribed to?)
So because the meeting's coming up and I am a committed and interested member, I wanted to do Paul the courtesy of being ready. At last this morning, I've got around to reading this new e-book The Survival Trap.
And of course, I've had my aha moment.
Bizarrely enough it came when McCarthy started talking about failure.
Now, unlike my eager little readers here, I confess I have the occasional moment of self-doubt!
I had one recently and I was throwing that word "failure" about a bit in conversation with my ever-helpful and endlessly-challenging coach Karen Wallace. She jumped on it from a great height and gave my backside a bit of a kick. A kick that I felt again when I read those words this morning.
I realized I just hadn't been failing fast enough to get me moving.
Those words got me so motivated that I stopped reading and came here to write and share with you the opportunity to read the book and get your aha moment faster!
McCarthy is offering this book for fr*ee. It's about 80-ish pages in big font and VERY easy reading. You even get a chance to win some coaching from him. So there's no loss in this. It's taken me about 45 minutes to read – but yes I am a fast reader! Even so, you'll hardly be taxed by reading it, and WILL get an aha moment no matter how extensive your experience of business or personal development is!
And if you need another quote to get you thinking, here it is:
– Talal Abu-Ghazaleh
See you at the Open Meeting on Tuesday?
If not, till next time …
Chris
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Chris Owen is Pink Apple. At Pink Apple, Chris shares the Secrets of Successful Relationships. She's a co-author of Save Our Christmas Sanity: The Christmas Calm Manual; and a regular contributor to The Calm Space, Joyful Jubilant Learning, and You! the member's magazine for Real Mums.
Like a Bit of Tart?
Welcome all to the new Chris Owen Blog – Apple Tart.
Here’s where you’ll come for everything that ISN’T about relationships! If you’re after relationship stuff, then go to Take A Bite.
Why Apple Tart?
Well the Apple bit’s obvious I’d have thought. But in case you don’t know, my business is called Pink Apple.
The Tart bit?
Well anyone who knows me well would tell you I can have a bit of a sharp edge, and particularly a sharp tongue. I CAN be a bit tart!! But like all good tarts, I’m pleasingly tart and tangy!
Note I said TART not TARTY!
However a few friends have even been known to call me a tart! But in a caring and sharing way! (I think!)
So on Apple Tart what you see is what you’ll get! The real me!
I’ll talk about some of my personal musings, business stuff, amusing events, networking I’ve done, good connections I want to share, blog posts that I’ve found intriguing (for reasons nobody else might get!)
Generally, a BIG swirling ECLECTIC mix!
Bit of sugar. bit of spice, bit of ranting, bit of musing.
MOSTLY funny!
So feel free to subscribe to the RSS feed in the middle of the right side of this page, or just above it in the box, put in your email address so you can receive new posts by email.
